Life’s so simple

8 08 2009

Life’s so meaningless, decided to take the dog out for a walk… Walked from home to East Coast, went to a pub, grabed a few bottles of Beer, enjoyed the breeze of the sea and the sound of the current… I never knew life was so simple….

 

Thank you for listening to me,

Thank you for accompanying me though i know you were really tired…

Thank you for standing by me,

Thank you for everthing my dear dog:)

doggie 001

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Protected: tit for tat

8 08 2009

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Day 6. Full Stop

6 08 2009

I’m putting an end to this.

I told myself that Tuesday night would be the last time i’ll cry for you, i’ll see you, hug you and love you. I’ll make that happen.

Honestly, i don’t know who called you a “SLUT” on your blog, but honestly, when you told me that, i didn’t feel  single thing.

You being able to do this to me, made me ponder why am i still loving you so much… Made me think that everything that i’ve been doing for you is just rubbish… Until the day that you are having feelings for another, you can still ask me to buy this, buy that for you.. meet me and all… Well, that’s really heartless… TOTALLY!

You’ve got no emotions, no heart, no values… i really don’t know who you are! A slut?! Mybe i won’t call you that… But after what you’ve done to me, i might just call you a heartless freak!

I’m putting an end to everything, a stop to this, you can continue to b happy with your ex boyfriend whom you love so much and talk to him everynight till the cows come home, i don’t have and i need not care about it anymore. If you can be this heartless, why should i bother?!

Probably to your friends, you’re damn poor thing, to me…. For what i see and how i feel, NO WAY!

You are obviously neither repentent nor guilty of what you’ve done, so i’m not wishing you all the best here or am i gonna be like you telling me that you’ve got feelings for me here n that because i totally feel that it’s a truck load of NONSENSE!

I’m feeling so much better pouring this shit out of my heart now! I’m HAPPIER without you.

FULL STOP!





Day 4- Series of Unfortunate events

4 08 2009

WHY is my life taking such big turns when everything falls back to back in Less then a month?!

My mum was admitted to the hospital just 2 weeks ago, my girlfriend left me just last week and this week, my DAD is admitted into the hospital for a stone on his kidney! WHY!!!

I really need you now… WHy is the World stepping on me so hard?! WHY!!!

Why do i want to forget and be strong but i just can’t… why?! WHy do you leave such big prints in my heart… WHY?!! WHy do you have to treat me like this…. WHy!! What have i not done well enough for you… giving all i’ve got, sacrificing all i have and all this have to happen to me!!!

I hate my LIFE!





I’m Signing Off…

2 08 2009

Will be camping in OCS the next 2 days for Ex. Heron… Thought i could spend the night over at your place before i set off in the morning… to be hugging you to bed, talking like we used to and snatching you away from your favourite daily dose of the must- watch “FIRENDS”…

Here i am now, in camp… hiding away from my family, not wanting them to see this miserable side of me as i sit in front of the computer CRYING so badly with my head spinning around and my beer on my other side…

I really miss you alot…

You’re flying in 26 days time, the day of my Bithhday to Beijing for 5 mths.. Alr it’s bad enough that you’re leaving, and now this has to happen. How am i going to go through my Course in September for 1 month and my military exercise in Australia in October for  also 1 month… How?!

Are we just gonna lose contact like that just because i’m out for all these courses and i can’t even contact you for the 1st 2 mths of you adjusting to a new life?! Is it gonna end like this? I suppose so… Maybe it’s GOd’s plan that i’m not available and Benny is… I hate to say this, i love you baby…

Life Sucks…

My mum texted me this msg just when i was typing this entry… (it’s the exact msg)

“Hi Boy be strong. I know it’s hard. Don’t worry, be happy:-) Just like mummy, always happy go lucky. Put all aside, ahead must be happy then that’s life ok? GO GO GO mummy example ok? Strong ah!”

Mummy, thank you so much. I Love you too.. There’s no greater love then your FAMILY who never fails to be there for you whenever you need them.

See you… I’m Signing off.





????????

2 08 2009

Why am i torturing myself like this… Why!!!

Another drunkard day… I’m not myself anymore.





Day 2 Without You…

2 08 2009

Today seems different, i woke up with a bad bad bad hangover… Thank goodness i had Matthew last night. Can you imagine?! i left my phone on his car without knowing, i only got to know about this at 12pm today when he called my house and inform me…!!! Imagine if i left it on a cab or something?! GONE by now!

Having a very very very bad hangover now… Probably drank too much last night.. i almost couldn’t remember what or how much i drank, but really, i have to thank my Bros for taking care of me…

Hais, gonna teach swimming later… 2 classes, 3pm and 5pm…. Don’t really have the mood… been thinking about you the entire night, and now that i’m awake, i’m also thinking about you… Y!!!! Y!!!!

Bros, thank you for helping me keep my promise, thank you for stoppng me from calling Samantha, thank you for taking my phone away from me when i was so drunk… I guess i really needed to, it’s easier to sleep like this… Maybe this is the way i should spend my weekends, i like it when i can just sleep without thinking that at the moment, you might be texting him. What is 2 years… It’s all nonsense, i really feel like shit… i never knew this would happen, and when it happened, i really didn’t know how to react…

I am telling you now, don’t have to think what you want. I think i had enough, i have my own stand too… If you can even do this to me after 2 years, i guess it means something. WE WON”T GET BACK TOGETHER AGAIN. You can go back to Benny… and don’t text me “how am i” because you’ll make me more miserable… maybe you also, shouldn’t text me forever… Forget about everything we had, and get a new life, or rather, go back to your olden days when you were happily with Benny..

I’ll Just treat as these 2 years was a sweet dream. I’m waking up from it now.

Samantha, if you hear me, i miss you…
P.s. I dont want you to text me because you text the Bastard the same thing too… I’m not a FUCKING TOY!