Day 1 without you…

1 08 2009

Day 1 without you, i feel tired, useless and so not motivated… I really miss you alot…

Why did you choose to do this to me, to ruin a relationship we used to see as our future? I am feeling so drained, so emotionally disabled… I really miss you alot, but i’m also fighting to not text you every min, every second…

Our weekends were normally interesting, either we go Tanning, shopping, movies or grab a beer and enjoy the little weekend moments we can have together, now, things are changing… no more Samantha, no more Baby Boy, no more Sam Kor, just me, myself and i alone… I am fighting this struggle alone, this struggle to forget the moments we had together, be it sweet, sour or Bitter, i really missed them alot…

I really hate this feeling, hate myself for checking your history… maybe i shouldn’t even see it, maybe i’ll feel better being cheated by you…

Honestly, before i fell aslp on the bed, i alr hear you sending text msgs, i kept quiet and i fell aslp… when i woke up at 2.30am, i still hear u sending msgs, you told me it was Yiting… and when i saw the msgs, it wasn’t… You were messaging the BASTARD! At that moment, i felt numb, like i couldn’t feel anything anymore… i just wanted more of you… but i know i couldn’t… 

I know it’s difficult.. it’s so difficult to fight this emotional battle, but i am gonna do it.. i don;t wanna fall in another situation like this again…

DRUNK is the word best use to describe me now… Baby, if you hear me, i miss you…

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